The Pathologists yelled, "Over my dead body!" while the Pediatricians said,'Oh, Grow up!'

The Psychiatrists thought the whole idea was madness, while the Radiologists could see right through it.

The Surgeons decided to wash their hands of the whole thing.

The Internists thought it was a bitter pill to swallow, and the Plastic Surgeons said, "This puts a whole new face on the matter."

The Podiatrists thought it was a step forward, but the Urologists were pissed off at the whole idea.

The Anesthesiologists thought the whole idea was a gas, and the Cardiologists didn't have the heart to say no.

In the end, the Proctologists won out, leaving the entire decision up to the assholes in Washington to wipe up.

2.  I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian .

3.  She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.

4.  A rubber band pistol was confiscated in an algebra class, because it was a weapon of math disruption.

5.  The butcher backed into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work.

6.  No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.

7.  A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.

8.  A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.

10.  Time flies like an arrow.  Fruit flies like a banana.

11.  A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall.  The police are looking into it.

12.  Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

13.  Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway.  One hat said to the other, "You stay here, I'll go on a head."

14.  I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger.  Then it hit me.

15.  A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said, "Keep off the Grass."

16.  A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital.  When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was, a nurse said, "No change yet."

17.  A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.

19.  The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.

20.  The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.

21.   A backward poet writes inverse.

22.  In a democracy, it's your vote that counts.  In feudalism, it's your count that votes.

23.  When the cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.

24.  Don't join dangerous cults, practice safe sects!