The Backroom

On July 29, 1981, Britain's Prince Charles married Lady Diana Spencer at St. Paul's Cathedral in London.



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A jumbo jet is making its final approach to Tampa Airport

The pilot comes on the intercom, 'This is your Captain. We're on our final descent into Tampa . I want to thank you for flying with us today and hope you enjoy your stay in the Tampa Bay area'.

He forgets to switch off the intercom. Now the whole plane can hear his conversation from the cockpit. The copilot can be heard saying to the pilot, 'So, Skip, whatcha got planned while we're in Tampa ?'

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Nursing Home...
Ethel was a bit of a demon in her wheelchair, and loved to charge around the nursing home, taking corners on one wheel and getting up to maximum speed on the long corridors.
Because the poor woman was one sandwich short of a picnic, the other residents tolerated her and some of them actually joined in.

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RETIREMENT is DIFFERENT for EVERYONE

One day, while going to the store, I passed by a nursing home. On the front lawn were six old ladies lying naked on the grass. I thought this was a bit unusual, but continued on my way to the store.

On my return trip, I passed the same nursing home with the same six old ladies lying naked on the lawn.

This time my curiosity got the best of me, & I went inside to talk to the Nursing Home Administrator.

'Do you know there are six ladies lying naked on your front lawn?'

'Yes,' she said. 'They 're retired prostitutes, & they're having a yard sale.

George Carlin on aging!

George Carlin's Views on Aging

Do you realize that the only time in our lives when we like to get old is when we're kids? If you're less than 10 years old, you're so excited about aging that you think in fractions.

'How old are you?' 'I'm four and a half!' You're never thirty-six and a half. You're four and a half, going on five! That's the key.

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The color of the ball will change when (and if) you click it.

1. The patient refused autopsy.
2. The patient has no previous history of suicides.
3. Patient has left white blood cells at another hospital.
4. Patient here-recovering from forehead cut. Patient became very angry when given an enema by mistake.
5. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.
6. On the second day the knee was better, and on the third day it disappeared.

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Wish I could think so quickly. . . .

A man boarded a plane with 6 kids. After they got settled in their seats a woman sitting across the aisle from him leaned over to him and asked, "Are all of those kids yours?"

He replied, "No. I work for a condom company. These are customer complaints."

One day a father gets out of work and on his way home he suddenly remembers that it's his daughter's birthday.

He pulls over to a Toy Shop and asks the
sales person, 'How much for one of those Barbie's in the display window?'

The salesperson answers, 'Which one do you mean, Sir?

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1. It's important to have a woman who helps at home, and cooks, cleans & has a job.

2. It's important to have a woman who can make you laugh.

3. It's important to have a woman who you can trust & doesn't lie.

4. It's important to have a woman who is good in bed & likes being with you.

5. It's very, very important that these four women don't know each other.

On July 20, 1969, astronaut Neil Armstrong became the first man to walk on the moon.

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Fun game for all!!!!!

An 80-year-old Italian goes to the doctor for a check-up. The doctor is amazed at what good shape the guy is in and asks, 'How do you stay in such great physical condition?'

I'm Italian and I am a golfer,' says the old guy, 'and that's why I'm in such good shape. I'm up well before da ylight and out golfing up and down the fairways. I have a glass of vino, and all is well.'

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I urgently needed a few days off work, but I knew the Boss would not allow me to take leave. I thought that maybe if I acted 'CRAZY' then he would tell me to take a few days off.

So I hung upside down on the ceiling and made funny noises. My co-worker
Tara (who's blonde) asked me what I was doing. I told her that I was pretending to be a light bulb so that the Boss would think I was 'CRAZY' and give me a
few days off.

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On July 18, 1936, the Spanish Civil War began as Gen. Francisco Franco led an uprising of army troops based in North Africa.

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This site will help you know the ones you need to know even
better. Just put in your address & your neighborhood map
will pop up. Every place you see a red balloon or thumb tack
is the home of a convicted felon.
Just hover your mouse over an icon & not only will the name come up, but also the crime they were convicted of.

If you love grace, beauty, and horses...take a few minutes and watch this entire
film of the Flying Frenchman....you will not soon forget this performance. Thanks to Ann Fetherolf for sharing it with the Undercover Club. MAKE SURE YOUR SOUND IS TURNED ON!

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Two guys, one old timer and one young, are pushing their
carts around Lowe's Building Supply in Bristol when
they collide.

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Doesn't anyone proof-read
anymore?



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Below are four (4 ) questions and a bonus question. You have to answer them instantly. You can't take your time, answer all of them immediately OK?
Let's find out just how clever you really are....

First Question:

You are participating in a race. You overtake the second person. What position are you in?

Answer: If you answered that you are first, then you are
absolutely wrong! If you overtake the second person and you take his place, you are second!

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Season 1 | Episode 1
The funny bird drives people crazy with his antics. (Continue below to watch the full episode)

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A firefighter was working on the engine outside the station when he noticed a
little girl nearby in a little red wagon with little ladders hung off the sides
and a garden hose tightly coiled in the middle. The girl was wearing a
fire-fighter's helmet. The wagon was being pulled by her dog and her cat. The
fire fighter walked over to take a closer look.

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A gushy reporter told Phil Michelson, "You are spectacular, your name is synonymous with the game of golf. You really know your way around the course.
What's your secret?"
Michelson replied, "The holes are numbered."

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"funny......Old...still has legs..
Fredd"

These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts, and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters who had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place.
______________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?
WITNESS: No, I just lie there.
______________________________________________
ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
______________________________________________

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(Anyone who has ever dressed a child will love this one!)
Did you hear about the Texas teacher who was
helping one of her kindergarten students put
on his cowboy boots?

He asked for help and she could see why.

Even with her pulling and him pushing, the little
boots still didn't want to go on. By the time they
got the second boot on, she had worked up a sweat.

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On July 11, 1979, the abandoned United States space station Skylab made a spectacular return to Earth, burning up in the atmosphere and showering debris over the Indian Ocean and Australia.

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Season 1 | Episode 1
Kiefer Sutherland stars as Jack Bauer in this unique television series in which the entire season takes place in one day, with each of the 24 episodes covering one hour and told in real time.

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Morris and his wife Esther went to the state fair every year, and every year Morris would say, 'Esther, I'd like to ride in that helicopter.'

Esther always replied, 'I know Morris, but that helicopter ride is fifty dollars, and fifty dollars is fifty dollars'

One year Esther and Morris went to the fair, and Morris said, 'Esther, I'm 85 years old. If I don't ride that helicopter, I might never get another chance.'

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"This should offend every US citizen. This is not only happening in Florida, but every state in the US.----"



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Season 1 | Episode 1
"Fear Itself" is a suspense and horror anthology series set to push the boundaries of this classic genre through a host of provocative award-winning directors including John Landis ("An American Werewolf in London"), Darren Bousman ("Saw II, III and IV") and Ronny Yu ("Bride of Chucky"). (Continue below to watch the full episode)

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On July 4, 1976, the United States celebrated its Bicentennial. In 1776, the Continental Congress adopted the Declaration of Independence.

Today's Highlights in History

There's a lot of advertising, but the winner should be this promo at the Doctor's office.

"..For many years I have thought that while I remain alive, while I keep breathing, I have to keep maintaining hope. Now I don’t have the same strength, now it is a lot of work for me to keep believing, but I want you to feel that all that you have done for us has made a difference. We have felt like human beings. Thank you.."



Excerpt from Ingrid Betancourt's letter to her mother wile held hostage by the Revolutionary Armed Forces of Colombia, or FARC

Who is Ingrid Betancourt?

» Read about her rescue and family reunion

Season 1 | Episode 1
A 10-year-old boy comes to Dresden claiming that monsters are after him. Dresden dismisses the boy's fears – until he belatedly realizes the kid is right. (Continue below to watch the full episode)

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The CIA's Secret Experiments on Humans
5 part video documentary.

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